The past five years have been a test of endurance I never asked for.

It started with watching my husband battle brain cancer and eventually passing away. Not long after, just as the dust began to settle, the world was hit by Covid, leaving my family hanging in a state of deep uncertainty.

Living with that level of uncertainty while grief hung heavy in the air was excruciating. It was harrowing. Honestly, I felt like I was living like a zombie.

The Weight of Survival

Year after year, I walked with no clear direction. The weight on my shoulders seemed to get heavier with every passing day.

Every morning, I forced myself to wake up for one reason: survival. I had children to feed and take care of. I felt like I had no option but to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what I thought or felt, I had to survive.

The fear was real. As my children got older, the financial pressure mounted. I was terrified I would screw up my life and that everything would fail. The intrusive thoughts shook me hard:

• My kids won’t be able to finish school.
• We will never have enough.

I was stretched to my absolute limit:

• Emotionally: Thinner than I thought possible.
• Physically: Running on fumes more times than I want to admit.
• Mentally: Fighting thoughts that tried to break me.
• Spiritually: Learning to pray as if my life depended on it – because it did.

Becoming a Warrior

Somewhere in that darkness, I became a warrior without even realizing it.

I didn’t become the loud, sword-swinging kind of warrior. I became the kind who:

• Cries, and then gets back up.
• Works while my heart is still healing.
• Holds my family together even when I feel like collapsing.
• Listens, supports, and protects others — even when no one checks on me.

This isn’t the kind of strength that looks glamorous. But God kept showing me that I am stronger than I think because He is stronger than my circumstance.

The muscles I built weren't formed in a gym. I built them in the storm. I didn’t learn courage when everything was easy; I learned it when everything felt like it was falling apart.

What Strength Looked Like This Year

If you asked me what strength looked like in practice, it wasn't about being invincible. It looked like:

✨ Showing up when I felt like disappearing. 

✨ Protecting my peace when toxicity came for me.

✨ Choosing mental health over a paycheck.

✨ Taking care of my kids and my mom without complaining.

✨ Making decisions that scared me — but choosing faith anyway.

This year didn’t just challenge me. It trained me.

I look at who I am today, and I’m proud of her. She’s not perfect — but she’s powerful.