The Loneliness That Tried to Define Me

“God sets the lonely in families.” — Psalm 68:6

The feeling of loneliness is very familiar to me. But being lonely isn’t something I struggle with anymore. In fact, I have made peace with the word. I am not afraid to be alone. Sometimes, even when the thought of socializing crosses my mind, the desire fades quickly. I choose to be alone, finding joy in books and movies, and that alone makes me fulfilled and happy because loneliness is power.

The only company I truly crave is my children. They are my home; they make me feel safe. With them, I don’t have to pretend to be anyone else.

For many, loneliness is terrifying. People avoid it because the silence feels uncomfortable. Society often attaches a stigma to it—viewing those who are alone as unpopular or friendless. I used to fall for that lie. But as I contemplated more, I began to feel secure in my own company. My mind recharges in the quiet. I feel relaxed. I feel at peace.

For years, however, loneliness whispered lies that I chose to believe. It grew loud in my head, telling me I was forgotten, unsupported, misunderstood, and carrying the weight of the world on my own. When I lay in bed at night, that silence became deafening. I used to hide behind an armor of strength, thinking no one could protect me but myself. People saw the "strong" version of me, but they ran away when I revealed the truth beneath the armor:

  • The tears on the ride home from work
  • The silence at the dinner table
  • The overthinking at midnight
  • The exhaustion of always being “the strong one”
  • The longing for someone to simply say, “It’s okay, I got you”

Loneliness wanted to claim me. But God stepped in. One night, He whispered into my quiet night:

“You’re never alone. I am here.”

Little by little… the loneliness transformed into solitude. That solitude taught me:

  • How to sit with God without rushing
  • How to hear His voice more clearly
  • How to rely on Him instead of people who weren’t meant to stay
  • How to find peace in my own company

Loneliness didn’t break me. It started to build me. It gave me depth. It gave me resilience. I may have walked alone, but I was never abandoned. Now, I embrace the aloneness because loneliness is power. In fact, I look forward to it—content with the quiet of the outside world so I can finally hear myself, and more importantly, hear the voice of my Creator who guides my life and gives me the peace I need as loneliness is power.


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